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ReversalSports |
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Members |
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Log-On |
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Information |
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BOYZ ROOM - JOKES |
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Husband Store
A store that sells new
husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman
may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at
the entrance is a description of how the store operates.
You may visit the store. ONLY ONCE! There are six floors
and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper
ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch: you may
choose any man from a particular floor, or you may
choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down
except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.
On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 -
These men have jobs.
The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men
have jobs and love kids.
The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men
have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads: Floor
4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good
looking and help with the housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it"
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead
gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong
romantic streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth
floor and the sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor
31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this
floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are
impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the
Husband Store.
A New Wives store opened across the street.
The first floor has wives that love sex.
The second floor has wives that love sex and have money.
The third through sixth floors have never been visited.
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Women Bashing
Q. Why did God give men penises ?
A. So we'd have at least one way to shut a woman up.
Q. What's the difference between a paycheck and your
dick ?
A. You don't have to beg a woman to blow your paycheck.
Q. How is a woman like a laxative ?
A. They both irritate the shit out of you.
Q. What are the small bumps around a woman's' nipples
for ?
A. Its Braille for "suck here".
Q. Why do men die before their wives ?
A. They want to.
Q. Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out
women ?
A. He died laughing before he could tell anybody.
Q. What's the difference between a woman with PMS and a
pitbull ?
A. Lipstick.
Q. Why do women have tits ?
A. So men will talk to them.
Q. What's the difference between a woman and a coffin ?
A. You come in one and go in the other.
Q. Why do women close their eyes during sex ?
A. They can't stand seeing a man have a good time.
Q. What's six inches long and two inches wide and drives
women wild?
A. Money.
Q. Why did the army send so many women with PMS to the
Persian Gulf ?
A. They fought like animals and retained water for 4
days.
Q. Why are hurricanes normally named after women ?
A. When they come they're wild and wet, but when they go
they take
your house and car with them.
Q. What's the difference between your wife and your job
?
A. After 5 years your job will still suck.
Q. What's the best thing about a blow job ?
A. Ten minutes of silence.
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Chinese Proverbs
- Virginity like
bubble, one prick, all gone.
- Man who run in front
of car get tired.
- Man who run behind
car get exhausted.
- Man with hand in
pocket feel cocky all day.
- Foolish man give
wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
- Man who walk through
airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
- Man with one
chopstick go hungry.
- Man who scratch ass
should not bite fingernails.
- Man who eat many
prunes get good run for money.
- Baseball is wrong:
man with four balls cannot walk.
- Panties not best
thing on earth! but next to best thing on earth.
- War does not
determine who is right, war determine who is left.
- Wife who put husband
in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
- Man who fight with
wife all day get no piece at night.
- It take many nails
to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
- Man who drive like
hell, bound to get there.
- Man who stand on
toilet is high on pot.
- Man who live in
glass house should change clothes in basement.
- Man who fish in
other man's well often catch crabs.
- Man who fart in
church sit in own pew.
- Crowded elevator
smell different to midget.
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Rained-Out Fishing Fanatic's Story
Saturday morning I got
up early, put on my long johns, dressed quietly, made my
lunch, grabbed the dog, slipped quietly into the garage
to hook the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back
out into a torrential downpour.
There was snow mixed
with the rain, and the wind was blowing 50 mph. I pulled
back into the garage, turned on the radio, and
discovered that the weather would be bad throughout the
day.
I went back into the
house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.
There I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a
different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out
there is terrible."
She sleepily replied,
"Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in
that shit "
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Blowjob Revenge
A woman and her boyfriend
are out having a few drinks.
While they're sitting
there having a good time together she starts talking
about this really great new drink.
The more she talks
about it, the more excited she gets, and starts trying
to talk her boyfriend into having one.
After a while he gives
in and lets her order the drink for him.
The bartender brings
the drink and puts the following on the bar-- a
saltshaker, a shot of Baileys, and a shot of lime juice.
The boyfriend looks at
the items quizzically and the woman explains.
"First you put a bit of
the salt on your tongue, next you drink the shot of
Baileys and hold it in your mouth, and finally you drink
the lime juice."
So, the boyfriend,
trying to go along and please her, goes for it.
He puts the salt on his
tongue -- salty but OK.
He drinks the shot of
Baileys - smooth, rich, cool, very pleasant.
He thinks - this is OK.
Finally he picks up the
lime juice and drinks it....
In one second the sharp
lime taste hits...
At two seconds the Baileys curdles
At three seconds the salty curdled bitter taste hits.
This triggers his gag
reflex but being manly, and not wanting to disappoint
his girlfriend, he swallows the now nasty drink.
When he finally chokes
it down he turns to his girlfriend, and says, "Jesus,
what do you call that drink?"
She smiles widely at
him and says, "Blow Job Revenge"
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